Episode 211 | "Where You Been?"

Mike Brown returns to The Art of Letting Go podcast, reflecting on his journey from co-hosting to going solo, his creative evolution during the pandemic, and surviving as a full-time podcaster. Sharing his experiences of leaving Los Angeles, living as a nomad, and reconnecting with his roots in Houston, Mike discusses overcoming fears, embracing creativity, and manifesting goals. In this episode Mike delves into the power of setting intentions and the significance of pride and self-acceptance in the Black queer community. Mike also gives a nod to his live podcast shows and the new season ahead, inviting listeners to join him on his ongoing journey.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back!
• 0:21 Reintroducing Mike Brown
• 2:45 Road Trip Adventures
• 3:23 Manifesting Success
• 6:14 Reflections and Realizations
• 8:21 Houston and Family Time
• 9:37 New Beginnings on the East Coast
• 10:02 Celebrating Pride
• 10:56 Listener Questions and Insights
• 12:39 Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Mike Brown: [00:00:00] Oh man, it's been a minute, but I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. And, uh, if you're first time tuning in, welcome. If it's your last time tuning in, I appreciate you being here, but, uh, let's get this show started.

Yo, what up? This is Mike Brown. Before we jump into this new season, I wanted to reintroduce myself. My name is Mike Brown. I am the host of the art of letting go. Some of you may remember me from the beginning of the show when it was me and alpha. Yo, what up? This is Mike Brown. This is alpha. And this is the art of letting go.

Letting go, letting go. Others may remember when I went solo. You know, this is probably the most honest that I'm even being with myself right now, but I was afraid to do this by myself. I didn't know if people would continue to listen to this podcast. I really didn't, but that didn't stop me. And it even kept me going so [00:01:00] hard that people started to share this podcast as a resource during the pandemic.

for myself and finding that balance. Like I said, I was out here thinking I was going to just revolutionize the world with creativity. And then when I actually sat in front of that keyboard, I said, God damn, we in the pan pan of them panademic. I know a lot of people tapped in when I did my residency with Spotify.

First of all, let me say shout out to Spotify. We here at Spotify recording. They got us in this amazing studio and you know, we've come a long way. We've come a long way. Started from the bottom. Now we here. And that experience inspired me to quit my job, focus on podcasting full time. And also essentially leaving Los Angeles and becoming a nomad.

I went into this journey scared. I ain't gonna lie to you. I didn't know how this was gonna work out. I didn't know where I was gonna end up. I was hoping I'd have to move back to Houston. And, uh, so far [00:02:00] none of my fears have, have came true and I've really had to release them. I've had to release all fear to the universe and really just live open.

To whatever life has for me. So no matter where you jumped in on a journey, I appreciate you being here. And I just wanted to take this episode to reflect a little bit with y'all, you know, just to catch y'all up cause y'all my people and, uh, let you know what happened in between me leaving LA and what got me to this place that we at today.

So if y'all ready, let's jump into it.

So when I left LA, I went on a road trip. Up to Vancouver, stopping everywhere in between. Came back down to L. A. And then I took a road trip with that yoga dude from [00:03:00] L. A. to Texas. And that led me to the next spot in my journey, which was New York. I had been out there a couple of times. And this time I wanted to spend a little extended time.

So I stayed for a month and in true fashion, I get back to the podcast. And the first person I talked to is Yanni 

YawnyBlew: Blue. You do manifest fast as hell because, uh, for your birthday. I don't know. Well, you dropped an episode on your birthday, so people don't actually know all the ins and outs of your birthday.

Are you cool if I, if I ask you some questions about that? Yeah, sure. Because, um, because, no, because, right, yeah, this is what happens when Mike Brown lets you pot a lot. You start, you start thinking you're the host. Um, no, what, no, let's, uh, you said, talking about manifesting. You set a lot of intentions for your birthday, some really, really dope work things, and they all happened the same day.

Um, I'm gonna try to run, run down the list and see if I remember it all. Okay. You dropped an EP. Yes. And a mixtape. Yes. And a music video. Yes. [00:04:00] Uh, you had an air article. 

Mike Brown: Mm hmm. 

YawnyBlew: You hosted a GLAAD hangout. Yep. And you dropped the first episode of the season. 

Mike Brown: Sure did. 

YawnyBlew: And all of that came together within the matter of like two or three weeks of you like really setting an intention on just wanting to return with a podcast on your birthday and Me pushing you to like, not even pushing you, because it didn't take a big push.

It was just me casually hinting, you should drop the single that day too, and it turned into the EP So all of that happening. How the fuck do you feel when, when, when all of that comes together and just how did you receive that day? 

Mike Brown: I felt good. I felt a little overwhelmed. Just because I planned all this stuff.

It happened. And I was receiving so much positive response to it all that it was a little overwhelming because there are versions of myself [00:05:00] that have doubted doing stuff like that, like releasing music or coming back after a break or, you know, not even wanting to promote the stuff that I do. So for me to embrace it, push it, continue to push it, it feels like a level up.

it feels like a different level of me taking myself serious. And I think that's been the biggest thing through all of that shit. Like I said, I've always had these projections for myself, but I don't know if I've always taken myself so serious. So now I'm in a place where I don't need you to tell me how good I am.

I don't need you to tell me that I'm really doing this. My actions are telling me that I'm doing this shit. So it felt good. And it set a tone for 37. Yes, I'm 37 now and I would not change where I'm at in this present moment for anything. There are things that I want to grow, obviously, [00:06:00] but just where I'm at mentally, spiritually, I wouldn't change it right now.

I wouldn't go back anywhere is what I'm saying. I wouldn't go back to any stage. of life because this, this is the most present that I've been. I want to go back to what Yanni said about me manifesting very fast. Um, something that people in my life have always told me is that I am a master manifester and anything that I say I'm going to do, it usually happens.

So one of the things I said in 2023 was that I wanted to attend the Black Queer Creative Summit that GLAAD held. And I wasn't sure if they were going to accept me, but I applied anyway. And I got in and one of the people that I met who is now a good friend is JaVale. And we had a really dope conversation about queerness and acceptance.

And it is a conversation that we continuously have to this day. For some reason, I just, in my [00:07:00] head, I thought that I wouldn't be accepted in it. And if, I'm being so honest, and I feel like I can be honest cause we sitting here talking. But, I see the sites like Native Son and stuff like that, and I don't feel like I fit in the box of, What aesthetically, a lot of our Black queer spaces present as what it, what it means to be Black and queer, you know what I mean?

So I, I didn't know that I would be accepted, but when I was, it was just like, man, I'm glad I, I'm glad I did that. And then there was the arrival. How did you feel once you arrived? 

Je'Vel: Well, first of all, sorry that you feel that way. I appreciate that. Let's, let's. Let's sit in that for a minute. I think that is like a real thing, but also it's created within our minds as well.

For 

Mike Brown: sure. For sure. Where it is real, but it might 

Je'Vel: not be as heavy. 

Mike Brown: I needed that conversation just as much as I needed to be in [00:08:00] New York. I learned a lot while I was there, got to connect with a lot of people and reconnect with people from different parts of my life. Also did a lot of creating. It was probably the most creative I felt in a long time.

It gave me a rush and I just needed more of that, but I had to leave because my funds ran out. So my biggest fear, the fear that I mentioned earlier, Of having to go back to Houston became a reality. I didn't know how I wanted to do this episode. I didn't really feel inspired to do it. It's been kind of hard to find a creative flow.

If I'm being honest, coming off of my New York trip, it's been three weeks since I recorded during that time I've been in Houston and it really feels like a lifetime being here. It's been bringing up a lot of my shit. I haven't spent this much time here since I was 22, and before that, probably since I was 17.

And you know what? I was being dramatic about [00:09:00] Houston. It wasn't as bad as I made it out in my mind to be. It actually was really enjoyable to spend time with my family. On Sundays, we would get together, play Uno, talk shit to each other, and it even led to us going to therapy. Which, I hope to get them on an episode to talk about our experience collectively of going to therapy as a family, because I feel like so many families could benefit from it.

After spending five months in Houston, I knew it was time to get back to the journey. I had enough time to be present, be still, and continue. So I moved out to the East Coast, landed in Newark. Two months into being in Newark, I land an opportunity to host my first live show in New York at the Soho House.

I didn't know who was going to show up, what was going to happen. I just knew it was Pride. I'm in New York and I just wanted to have a conversation and [00:10:00] connect with the community. That's what you do when you're gay, right? You just go to Pride. And uh, it was fun. It was a party. And I think as time progressed, I started learning the history of Pride and just understanding it in a different way.

And, um, in this phase of my life, because I didn't have. a model of what this life was supposed to look like. I, I really take pride in being Mike Brown fully, like not just as a queer person, not just as a black person, as a man, like just as a full being. And, um, I just try to project that in the world as much as I possibly can.

Um, would anybody like to come to the mic and share what pride means to them? Anybody want to share? I really thrive in the live spaces. I'm not going to front so much that I ended up doing a second live show. I ended up doing Newark Pride a month after that. All right, so I had a couple of listener questions.

I put it out [00:11:00] on Instagram that I would be having this conversation, and some people sent in some questions. So I would love if y'all share with the listeners some answers to these. So somebody asked, actually, Jameson C. asked, what does pride mean for Black folks who come out later in life? I don't know how late is late.

I guess. It's never too late to come out. I came out at 26. Um, and initially it was a little hard. It was a little hard because it took a long time for me to even accept being queer. I've, I've gone through like the cycle of what word do I want to identify? Like I used to, when I first came out, I identified as gay.

uh, gay for me personally. And, and this is like no disrespect to anybody identifies gay, but it felt very whitewashed in the spaces that I was in. I lived in Los [00:12:00] Angeles and, uh, I just didn't connect to the word at that time. And I tried out same gender loving that spoke to me a little more because, uh, you know, I do value people more than just sex.

And also, yeah, queerness really spoke to me just because queerness feels like you, it just feels like such a broad spectrum that it feels like more than just sexuality. Like I think just How I carry myself, everything about me, it feels queer. Like I feel just as much of my masculine as I do my feminine.

Yeah. This was fun to take a look back on just where I've been, where I'm going and what brought me here today. I'm excited to share more of the journey with y'all. So thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. We got a great season ahead and this is Mike Brown and this is the art of letting go.[00:13:00] 

for tuning into this episode of the art of letting go. If you'd like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen. Also, if you would like to see more exclusive content, sign up for our Patrion. There's a free option. Also, we want to connect with you more direct. We're trying to get away from social media, subscribe to our sub stack, subscribe to our newsletter and let's connect.

Until next time, this is Mike Brown, and this is The Art of Letting Go.