Episode 218 | Building Worlds with Dapper Dan Midas

In this episode of The Art of Letting Go, I’m joined by my friend and collaborator DDM (aka Manny), a genre-defying artist who’s built his own creative universe rooted in authenticity, boldness, and evolution. We talk about his journey from battle rap to redefining queer artistry in hip-hop, navigating identity, and what it means to measure success on your own terms.

I also reflect on my return to the basketball court at a recent gay tournament, what it taught me about presence and self-acceptance, and why we have to meet ourselves where we are.

This episode is for anyone learning to own their story—on the court, on the mic, and in life.

🧘🏾 Meditation by James “DatYogaDude” Woods
🎶 Music by Mike Brown
🎙️ Produced by Mike Brown
🔗 Learn more about DDM and his work on SoundCloud

Transcript

SPEAKER_1

00:00:00

What's going on, y'all?This is Mike Brown, and I want to welcome you to this week's episode of The Art of Letting Go.If you haven't already, please make sure you hit the subscribe on whatever service that you're listening to this podcast.Also, rate the show and review it.Got a really special show in store for y'all.I have a conversation with my friend and collaborator, DDM.He is one of the dopest artists that I've met from his visuals to his music and just everything, and how he combines it and creates worlds.And I really wanted to shine the light on him for y'all to see the worlds that he's building as well.So as you listen to the show, I hope you feel inspired.I hope that the conversation gets you through your day, your week or wherever you're at in your life.And yeah, let's all enjoy the show.Yo, what's up?This is Mike Brown, and this is The Art of Letting Go.When I tell you my body is in pain, my body is in pain.I just got back in town from a basketball tournament.I was in Orlando this past weekend playing in a gay basketball tournament.Happy Pride, by the way, for everybody that's listening, however you celebrate.But I played in this tournament.I haven't played basketball in over a year and a half.And when I tell you, initially, I didn't feel prepared for this.I wasn't practicing.I just wasn't putting the effort into basketball, but I knew I was ready to get back into it.So I started shooting around a couple of days before the tournament, and my shot was awful.For those that know, I do have a jump shot, but it's been pretty bad lately.And when I got to the court, I just really allowed myself to be where I was at today.I'm 38 years old now.I weigh 210 pounds.It's probably the biggest that I've been in my life.And I just didn't want to overthink.I didn't want to psych myself out of not being able to play.You know, before I got on the court every game, I took a couple of breaths to myself, took three breaths just to be present, to not think about if I'm going to hit that shot or not, or if I have the energy or the wind to stay in the game as long as I need to.And those breaths helped me so much because, you know, I've been playing basketball since I was in the fourth grade.So my IQ is there, you know, I understand the game.Playing this time around, I really was just able to understand how much of the game is mental and relating that to life, how much of life is really about your mindset and your mental.As I'm reflecting on this basketball tournament, I'm thinking about, you know, it's Pride Month and there isn't enough light on queer sports, queer athletic community.I think about all of these subcultures that I've been a part of, whether it's ballroom or even being a queer hip-hop artist.And that is why I wanted to release this episode today with DDM because he is a queer artist, but more than just being a queer artist, he's just a dope artist.You know, so often us as creatives, us as queer people, we get limited by the boxes that society wants to place us in.But then you have people like myself, people like DDM that jump out of those boxes, that release ourselves from those spaces and create our own worlds.And those worlds just are so beautiful.I look at DDM's world of being like hip hop, pop culture, wrestling, and all of these things matched into one and even my own.And being able to invite people into those worlds that want to be a part of them.Something special about that.So with this episode, I wanted to bring you all into the world of myself and DDM.And when those worlds intertwine, that's what comes out of this episode.So without further ado, let's get into it.

SPEAKER_2

00:04:37

It's James Woods, also known as That Yoga Dude, with Feel Free to Feel Free.And I gently, calmly, yet strongly guide my mind back to calm.Taking my mind from yelling to yoga.By releasing negative thoughts, they come in and I let them go.By taking deep breaths.

SPEAKER_1

00:05:07

And exhale.

SPEAKER_2

00:05:11

I continuously coming back to the moment.To here.When the negative thoughts pop up.And try to run around in my head.

SPEAKER_1

00:05:22

I breathe.I relax my body.And I picture.

SPEAKER_2

00:05:37

Myself, in the moment, peaceful, calm, beautiful, relaxing, chilling, safe.I notice how my body shifts toward this place of peace and calm.And I notice how my mind feels more anchored and relaxed.Being in this moment, letting go of what I should have, could have, Would have done.Not thinking about what's about to happen, finna happen, should happen.And breathing.Maybe even a smile.As always, feel free to feel free.And namaste.Peace.

SPEAKER_1

00:06:27

I met you as Manny.I knew about DDM through you working with Eric.But I met you as Manny.And I've heard stories like just different versions of you as a battle rapper.But I wanted to know from you, how did your journey start?And what was your earliest memories of things that drew you to hip hop and rap music?

SPEAKER_0

00:06:49

You know, when I was younger, I remember I got in trouble for writing down the lyrics to Salt-N-Pepa Sheep.I think I was like third or fourth grade.And my mother found it.And my mom was like, 'What is this filth?'And that was like one of the first songs.Troy, they reminisce over you.Anybody who knows me knows that that's probably my favorite hip hop song.The sample, the story.I've always been attracted to the stories of hip hop.I love the braggadocious stuff, of course, because I did battles for a period of time.But the stories and the cinema of hip hop, I like hearing.voices in unison i'm a big fan of unison rap and unison singing rap groups things of that nature as well in addition to i know it's we can't say this now but the bad boy era was very highly influential on me kim fox eve like all of those girls and i just knew i wanted to be a part of that at the time being a person who was very insular Was not very handsome, in my opinion, and didn't have like I wasn't popular in school.I didn't have, you know, the clothes and all of that stuff.Battle Rat was a way for me to get attention, get noticed and kind of, you know, be.I guess I could say respected.And it didn't require money.It didn't require, I just had to be great with words, which I was always good at.English and history were my favorite subjects in school.So that really helped shape my view of it.And it was something that I just was instantly attracted to.

SPEAKER_1

00:08:36

That's dope.How did you get into battling?

SPEAKER_0

00:08:39

I knew I wanted to do music, and I wanted to do rap at the time when I started battling; it was the easiest way to garner attention and get people to know your name, to build a name.And so I did it out of necessity, not because it was something that...I was like, oh, I'm going to be a battle rapper.Like, no, that was not the intention.The intention was, oh, people go to these things.This is how a lot of folks are building a reputation and getting a following.So I'm going to have to do this and figure it out.It just so happened that I got really good at it.But it was not something that was my original intention to do.It was really PR for me.

SPEAKER_1

00:09:23

And were you out as a battle rapper?

SPEAKER_0

00:09:25

No, not for most of my run towards the end.And this is before URL got all big.At the very end, I did come out in a battle.And I remember that made World Star Hip Hop.That was a whole thing in my city.But outside of that, no, I was not out.

SPEAKER_1

00:09:43

How do you feel like that impacted you as an artist?What, doing battles?Well, doing battles, but also just not being out in your art.

SPEAKER_0

00:09:55

You know, to be fair, I wasn't very comfortable as a person in general, so I can't pin it on my art and worried about what people were going to think about me with that which I did.But I just wasn't comfortable as a person, I mean you're talking to a person who was a virgin until he was 22 years old.I didn't date in high school; I didn't have that luxury.A lot of the kids now because society has changed or at least it had changed for a moment.You see queer children, teenagers, or whatever they are able to date; they're able to have that sense of normalcy within their sexuality that their heterosexual cohorts have.But for me, I just wasn't comfortable as a person.So in my art, it bled over.And one thing that I've learned about myself is that I have to believe what I'm doing.If I don't believe what I'm doing, if I don't feel what I'm doingIt's not going to come across well.It's going to sound bad.It's going to look bad.I have to live the fantasy like some people have to live the lie.Like I have to live the lie because I'm so honest with myself.

SPEAKER_1

00:11:07

That's real.And it's funny you say that because something I have written down was like, when I see you, it seems like you almost.Exist in your own world; it doesn't seem like you are trying to be too much in any one space and that made me want to ask you, what has your journey been like navigating both music spaces and queer spaces?

SPEAKER_0

00:11:27

I think being the only child, like I have a brother but we're almost a decade apart, I think being the only child creates energy and behavior that makes you have to create your own universe.And for me, I can be very aloof sometimes.Like, am I very aware about world events, you know, national events?Absolutely.People who know me and follow me on social media definitely know that that's a given, but I was never worried about if I was a top read on TikTok.I never even really bothered to really learn the platform like that, if I'm being honest, because it was like another platform.I never really worried about, you know, how this was going to work for this demo.I just.I learned to create what I wanted and do what I wanted.And if people happen to like it, that was fine.Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that in my earlier stages, I didn't care what people think because every artist does to a certain degree.And they're lying to you if they say otherwise.But after a while, I just realized that if it worked, it worked.If it didn't, it didn't.

SPEAKER_1

00:12:45

Do you remember that moment where you started to feel the freedom in your work?And how did that correlate to where you were at in your life personally?

SPEAKER_0

00:12:54

I think I didn't feel the freedom until I started to feel different in my personal life.Going back to that theme of me having to live the lie, so to speak, my art is so influenced by how I live.It's so influenced by what's going on in my personal life, in the lives of my friends, in my surroundings.So all of those things are going to dictate what kind of music, what kind of film, what kind of visual presentation I'm going to give.I'm growing my hair back right now and I'm getting ready to go get my first haircut in a decade plus tomorrow.That's a physical change, right?So all of those things impact how I view art and the type of product that people receive from me.

SPEAKER_1

00:13:45

I wanted to go back, like I said in the beginning, my first entry point of view was through He Say, She Say.And I'm curious to know, what was that time like for you?And when it did blow up in the way that it did, what was that feeling like?

SPEAKER_0

00:14:00

That was a nice moment for me.It seemed like people were getting on board.I had major label interests at that time.It was a nice time, 2019.The pandemic slowed a lot of people's things down, but it was very reflective of who I was at the time.Fast forward 2025, I'm very thankful for He Say, She Say, Stop My Bag, all of those kinds of songs, because those songs still provide revenue.So I'm forever thankful.For those songs, you know, it feels good to call Eric and say, hey, we got to sync.I need your information.So I'm forever thankful for those songs.In 2025, where I am now, I can't relate to any of those songs anymore as a person.I perform them and they're fun and I know how to perform them because I'm a performer.But as far as connection to those records, I have no connection to those records because that person no longer exists.And I'm such an empath and such a feeler.Those songs, while I appreciate them and they have helped me a lot and I don't discount them, they feel so insequential, non-sequential, whatever the word is, to life right now.It's like watching Real Housewives of Atlanta.Like, either it's going to be an escape or it's going to be a referendum on how aloof we are as society, right?I can't even relate to the records no more.

SPEAKER_1

00:15:32

That's so real.And I think, I wish more people understood that, but also I understand that everybody's not a creative, but people hold us as creatives to a place that impacted their lives and just want that from us.As a creative, like how do you not allow yourself to get caught up in what other people want from you?

SPEAKER_0

00:15:55

If I'm being 100% transparent and honest, I think I have that freedom because I wasn't mega successful.So there's nothing for me to live up to.I haven't sold two million records or had a billion streams.I haven't been on, you know, Seth Meyers'couch or talked to Oprah or any of those types of things.So that pressure isn't there.So for me, while some people know my record saying they'll recognize me on the street or from social media or things like that, I am not famous.So I do not have that weight to carry.I just don't have that kind of pressure.

SPEAKER_1

00:16:34

And you know what?Sometimes I feel like for artists, it's almost like fear of allowing yourself to go other places.It's not even an external pressure sometimes to be something else.

SPEAKER_0

00:16:47

If anything, the pressure I put on myself like with my new project I'm actually working on two projects at the same time.I'm putting out a mini mixtape called Gold Dust for WrestleMania because I'm like a huge wrestling fan so I'm doing something just to regenerate and let people know I put out 1984 November and people like, okay, yes, but this is like Gold Dust; it's a rap, like a rap record which people want from me and I would not give them since Bella Omar 20/20.But being a wrestling fan and wanting to talk about these stories, see, I have to be inspired that inspired me to want to rap right so I'm doing that and then finally five years of work, uh, album Love at the End of the World which is what I'm working on, the visuals andThings for now that will be in November 2025 finally after five years and almost 100 songs, dwindled down to 14.So I have to be inspired, you know?

SPEAKER_1

00:17:47

That's real.I feel the same way.I do want to dive a little more into music because I see hip hop as a genre that's built on realness.Like everything is so real.But why is it so hard for hip hop to accept queerness in the genre?Because it's a genre built off authenticity.

SPEAKER_0

00:18:07

I think in a lot of ways, we have to look at the creators of the music and we have to look at society at large, in particular, Black society and Latino society.You know, that is just not something that's celebrated.It's not something that was talked about a lot.We always existed in society, of course, but we were like vampires.I would say gays are like vampires, lesbians are like werewolves.And, you know, vampires are always there, but we exist in the shadows.Everybody knows it's like the elephant in the room that's calm and quiet.And that's a societal thing.I don't think that's a hip-hop thing.I think that's a societal thing, because even when you look at R&B music, right, and music in America in general, you know, we've had plenty of gay R&B singers.They may not have come out, but, you know.One thing that I appreciate, and I don't know if Luther Vandross was gay or not.He never admitted that.We all have our theories and we all have our ideas.But I will say this.What I love about Luther's music is that it is not gender based.If you listen to his big hits and most of his songs, of course, he had a few songs.But if you listen to Luther Vandross records, all the big ones.They never mentioned gender, none of them.And I think that was a great compromise if he was same gender loving.And I think that that's how you get through.That's how you make it through.And especially at that time.I think also hip hop is a good old boys club.And I say this all the time, you know, patriarchy and things like that, you know, every race has patriarchy issues.That's not unique to Black culture, Latin culture, white culture, Asian culture.That's the culture of human beings.And so that's why for queers in hip hop, it is what it is.We have some folks that have managed to cut through.And the thing is, we've had gays in hip hop already that have been famous.They just weren't out.Right, and so I think the race to be there was a race at one point in time to be the out Eminem-like person, and I think that race has kind of ended.And I think that you just make what you want you make, and I think we're seeing a lot of queer influence in hip-hop, a lot of you know, you look at NLE Choppa and things like that.You know, it's just like one of those things where now that shock value or that gasp has kind of been deflated.And now you just got to make the record.

SPEAKER_1

00:21:14

Yeah, that's real.I wanted to ask you, what does success look like for you on your terms?

SPEAKER_0

00:21:21

For me, it's all about making bodies of work that I'm proud of.It's all about putting out a vision, a messaging and people receive if people receive the messaging, I'm happy.If I'm able to showcase my work, I'm happy.If it gets picked up on a TV show, that's great.But I have eclipsed the hunger for major mainstream success in my life.I don't want to say I don't care, but I'm just not as bothered because when I wake up in the morning due to God's grace, I have a home, I'm able to support myself.I'm able to go do nice stuff from time to time and still be able to create on my own terms without influence, without pressure, without worry.If I want to put out a record, I go ahead and finance it.And that's the beautiful thing about technology and where we are now.People say, 'Well, I need somebody to put my record out.'No, you don't.You can put your record out yourself.If you want to get distribution, like they even have made it easier to do physical distribution now.The biggest thing that I've learned is there are no rules.I was so like, okay, so if I put out this record, you know, and it doesn't sound like this, people are going to get confused on a theme.Nobody gives a shit about that anymore.I've been working on Love at the End of the World, which has a pop punk, new romantic.kind of feel to it but then gold dust is street hip-hop is street you know boom bap but but like current beats and shit like that and i'm like in my mind at first i was like bitch if you put out gold dust then when you put out love at the end of the world november they're not gonna get it and then i had to say nobody we don't mind it's gonna make him a sexy red like nobody gives a shit You're not fucking famous.Yes, people know you, but you're not this megastar where you have to be beholden to this company and beholden to this idea that people have of you.If you want to put out gold dust in April and had your gold dust makeup with a varsity jacket and street wear and then do Love at the End of the World November.You can do that, bitch.Shoot one video.Here's the message.Whoever smelt it dealt it.If you liked it, that's good.And then we move on to the next thing.I think that was the biggest thing because I come from a time where there was a system.There was a process.There was a rollout.There was a factory, an assembly line of how things were done.That shit just isn't the case anymore.

SPEAKER_1

00:24:02

That's so real.And my last question is, if you could send a message to any upcoming queer artists today just about navigating their careers and staying authentic, what would you give them?

SPEAKER_0

00:24:17

I would advise and suggest to dig into yourself, dig into.What it is that affects you, not what you think people would like or not trying to champion the cause because you want to have this savior complex or be this person.Write about your life.And the reason I say that is because when you do that, no matter what color you are, what gender you are, what sexual preference you have.People will find you and relate.That's what my suggestion would be.Live your life and write it.Live your life and write it.Because the music doesn't come if you're not living.If you're, you know, trying to create a life for people to listen to, that's not going to work.Your best work has come from living.You have to live your life.

SPEAKER_1

00:25:17

Thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode of The Art of Letting Go.If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen to the podcast.Also, rate the show.Leave us a review if you listen on Apple.I love to hear what y'all think about the show.Also, if you want to further support the show, I do have a Patreon where I'm posting about three times a week.Hold me accountable.Also, I have a newsletter where I am just sharing extensions of myself outside of this podcast, my music, my thoughts, and everything in between.And I would love for y'all to join me on Substack as well.Thank you so much for listening to this episode.I really appreciate y'all being here.And this is the art of letting go. Peace.